When I started this new job, I had a goal of being promoted within 12 months, I did it in 6! I got the news yesterday when my boss asked to see me for a minute. Of course my first instinct was to panic but I was soon very relaxed once the conversation started.
For me, this promotion was so important. I used to work in media sales until I left the city to move to the country. Before I moved I loved my job, I mean LOVED it! It was a tough decision to leave, but the right one at the time. Given there isn’t much opportunity to do media sales in the country, I was out of the media industry for 2 years. When I moved back to the city I temped for a while (was the longest time in my career ever!) then I was fortunate enough to be told about this job. I applied and got it!
Although it was an entry level role and compared to what I had been doing in my previous media role, it was a huge step down but I knew I wanted it. I had missed the industry terribly and knew it was where I was meant to be. I tried the wine industry but it just didn’t feel right and given how much I love wine, that was a huge shock to the system!
So when I took this job with lower pay and lower responsibilities, I set a goal that I would be doing more and getting paid more within the year. The thought never really crossed my mind that I would be given the opportunity within 6 months. It’s the best feeling to have your boss tell you that you are doing such a great job and they want to reward you for it. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. I know this is what I want to do and yesterday was just the final stamp of approval. Again, I can say that I LOVE my job and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for me.
I can’t wait to celebrate this milestone with a little wine between friends and family.
I went to the doctor today, not for any thing serious, mostly just for a general check up. I had to go during work hours because my doctor works short hours, so of course my colleagues knew I was going to see the doctor. That didn’t bother me, I had nothing to hide. What bothered me was the instant conclusion that they all seemed to jump to. “Oh, went to see the Dr hey, not pregnant are you?!” Whilst it was mostly said in fun (my work place like to have inappropriate banter often), it still p!ssed me off. If I was a 28 year old male, this wouldn’t even have been a thought (obvsiously). But because I’m a 28 year old female, in a long term relationship, it’s an instant go to. Whenever I may be feeling a little off, or I innocently say ‘I’m craving chocolate’, everyone has the same thought. Most the time I’m sure it’s kept to just that, a thought, but sometimes you get that idiot who says it out loud.
Now I will admit that I will do this to my friends as well. But mostly I do it to people who I know want children or are at that stage where it is actually very possible they could be with child any day now. Most people who know me, know that I’m not even close to that stage in my life. I love my partner and know it’s real, but I am not yet ready to entertain the idea of bringing another life into this world. So when people know this is how I feel, I find it rude and annoying that they think it’s okay to automatically assume that my slight tiredness is the result of a baby growing in my belly. I feel I’m constantly having to defend my annoyance when people bring it up. I’m clearly at that age where having a baby is the only thing I should be thinking about.. well guess what, it’s not. I love my life, I love my job, I love a little wine between friends. I’m not yet ready to swap all of that for nappies, dummies and 2am feeds.
This may be tabu, but i’m going to say it anyway… I’m too selfish to have a child right now. I don’t think that makes me a bad person, infact I think it makes me a better ‘one day parent’. I have seen what happens when people have children too young or when they aren’t ready and the effect it has on said child. Seeing a parent resent their choice to have children or watching parents constently palm their kids off to the grand parents because they want to keep living like they were childless is awful. I don’t want to do that to my child. I want to give my all when the time comes. I want to want to stop working and stop having nights out because I know I have the most amazing thing that ever happened to me at home. I just don’t feel like I’m there yet but I feel like socitey sees this as a bad thing. The pressure that is placed on females in their 20’s, early 30’s is unbelievable. We don’t live in the 50s anymore where women were born to marry and have babies and that is it. Some women want a career and to travel and to go out in to dinner with just their partner. This doesn’t make them awful people. Neither does wanting children and I am not saying that. Some people are born to be parents and that is what the world needs. And I am also very aware that having children doesn’t make your life stop. I know you can go out and still do things, include travel but you have to admit, you are more limited with your options. I just don’t think it’s fair to judge and question my thoughts on having children just because ‘it’s my god given right’.
This isn’t to say that I don’t LOVE children. I have a newish (4 months old) nephew who I love with all my heart. I genuinely miss him when we don’t see him. I have another friend who is close to making this amazing life decision to have a baby and I couldn’t be happier for her – she is definitely one of my friends who I ‘pester’ about being pregnant often! These people have made that choice and are ready and I take my hat off to them. Because they have a baby (or will soon) doesn’t mean I won’t love them any less or want them in my life any less. It just means our friendship will change and grow. I also feel a huge amount of empathy for people who struggle with having a baby. Wanting something so badly and it not being possible is unimaginable for me. It breaks my heart when I hear these stories. I almost feel guilty because I make the choice (at the moment) not to have a baby, yet they spend every waking hour thinking and wishing for one.
I know having babies is a part of life, just like marriage and bad hair days. I just don’t need every Tom, Dick and Harry assuming that because I’m 28 and female, I should be pushing out babies left, right and centre.
I have a confession to make, I’m a little hung over today. Not to the point that I can’t function, but I’m a little hazy and craving chips and gravy! I don’t make a habit of being hung over at work, but yesterday we were taken out on a loooong lunch which included a
little lot wine between friends (well more work colleagues but hey, they are friends!). Then last night I went to watch my partner play darts (this requires a whole other post to explain this) and proceeded to have a few more glasses of wine. I was by no means ‘can’t handle myself drunk’ but I was pretty happy. So whilst I was on the train into work, feeling a little less ordinary, I was sitting near a group of school kids who were laughing and having a great time. It got me thinking, they have never experienced a hang over (at least I hope they haven’t, they could have not been more than 12 years old!!). I felt almost envious of them that they have never experienced that pain in their heads or that sickening feeling from drinking too much. Oh to be young and innocent again!
How can I explain this week? I feel like I was on a roller coaster ride at work with so many ups and downs, twists and turns that sitting here on a Saturday feels like a holiday. My job can be very stressful at times (as can most jobs) and sometimes things happen that make you want to crawl into a hole and hide. This week I learnt that by not doing that, and by facing the challenges my job throws at me, I actually become better at it. I learnt that my imagination has a way of turning tiny small problems into HUGE massive problems, resulting in me spending the night stressing about it. I learnt that by thinking logically and facing these problems with with confidence, I can actually turn it around and end the week by having solved said problems.
I also learnt that even though the recession was over 3 years ago, the market still has it’s tough times. No ones jobs is safe, no matter who you work for or what your role is. I learnt that in the space of an afternoon, you can get a phone call saying you have been let go, simply because there is not enough work. This happened to a friend of mine this week and it’s heart breaking. Going from having a secure, well paid job to nothing must be such a terrifying experience. I learnt to appreciate and be thankful for the fact that although I had some challenges this week, at least I still have a job.
This week was full of high’s and lows at work, yet i’m so happy I can sit here and enjoy a little wine between friends knowing that I still have a job to go to on Monday.
I had my 6 month review today… what a relief it’s over. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t bad, In fact it was great. Turns out I’m doing a really good job, which is nice to hear. However the thought of having a workplace review is always daunting, no matter how you think you are doing. I always get nervous before a review as I don’t like the unknown.
I’ve always been like this when it comes to reviews. No matter how good a job I’ve done, I always worry for a week before my review. What if my boss has kept a list of all my mistakes and plans to hit me with them all at once? What if they rate my work completely differently to me? It’s slightly awkward when you rate your ‘attention to detail’ as ‘high standard’ and your boss has rated it as ‘needs work’…. On that note, I find it so uncomfortable to have to ‘rate’ myself. I can talk for hours about all my faults and where I need improvement, but ask me to tell you what I do well and I go blank. “I’m always on time” is hardly an achievement.
I understand why work place reviews are necessary and they have many benefits. If you are not performing in your job, you need to be told why and how. Not in a negative, ‘let’s make you feel the size of an ant’ kind of way. It has to be positive and helpful otherwise how do you learn? Lucky for me my bosses have always been helpful and given me great guidance when it came to areas of improvement. I’ve always had a boss that would prefer to mention any ‘problems’ as they occur, rather than waiting for our review. Other people are not this lucky. I had a friend who had a boss that was quite possibly the devil. Each review, her boss would sit her in a room for an hour whilst she bombarded her with every single little mistake she had made in the last 6 months. Even down to the tiniest little errors. My friend would be blind sighted as there was never any mention of these issues during the past few months. This woman could have written the book on how NOT to do a review!
Lucky for me, my review today was more of a casual catch up over coffee. So instantly I felt relaxed and at ease (great start!). The rest was just chatting about how everything was going, how I was feeling and if I had any problems. Overall it was a great catch up and I now know that I am doing a great job and everyone seems happy. Nothing like a bit of reassurance to start your Friday. So now the day is over and I can relax with a little wine between friends! Happy weekend everybody.
Ahh Friday! That tremendous day when you wake up knowing there are only 8 dreary hours standing between you and the freedom from the daily task called ‘work’. Fridays would have to be my favourite day of the week. Yes, I am at work but the vibe is what I love about it. From the moment I step out my door I can feel it. Standing at the train station waiting patiently as I do every morning, things feel distinctively different. There are a few less people, and the ones who are there are not in their normal suit and ties but rather non constrictive jeans and a tee. The walk to work is also a lot more relaxed. People aren’t rushing, pushing past each other. They are casually making their way to their place of work with almost a smile.
The office has a great atmosphere on a Friday. People seem dare I say it, happy. Almost every sentence starts with ‘thank god it’s Friday’ and just about every email has the classic ‘TGIF’. It’s a love of Friday that brings everyone together. Talks of plans for the weekend happen in the kitchen, the debate of when to have our first drink for the day is ripe (ok, that might be just my work place!) and the countdown to 5pm is on! People seem to almost switch off after 2pm. There is a lot more chit chat and banter and people really are in weekend mode! It’s a great feeling.
Then finally, the moment we have all been waiting for arrives. It’s knock off time and we couldn’t be happier. Computers are shut down, after work drinks are poured and the weekend has officially begun. The feeling on the train on a Friday night is unlike any other day of the week. People are chatting away, laughing and making plans for their night. It’s great to just watch how relaxed everyone is after a hard week of work. They are free, free at last.
So wherever you are on this Friday, I hope you are having a good one! Not long now and it will be time to enjoy a little wine between friends.
Cheers (to the weekend),