I haven’t written a post for a few months now. No real reason that I can use as an good excuse, more many bad excuses – lazy, went on holiday, can’t find motivation.
That last point is what has prompted me to write this post. Lately I have been feeling very unmotivated to do anything. I don’t know if it’s post holiday blues or I just feel like me life has come to a stand still.
When I really think about it, that just seems crazy. As mentioned, I’ve just been on a 4 week holiday to the UK, I recently moved house and I bought a brand new car. For most people, this would be more than enough to shake things up. For me, it’s done nothing.
I guess the holiday was a huge event in my life as I had been dreaming of heading to the UK for years. To finally go and see it in all it’s glory was amazing.
The new car was exciting but the shine has pretty much worn off. Now I’m just left with the extra costs involved that I previously didn’t have… petrol, rego etc..
The moving part was more a hassle than an exciting. My partner and I rent our home (for now) and were told by our agent that the owners wanted to move back in. We could have been real jerks and told them we weren’t moving until our lease was up in December but we aren’t like that. So we found a new rental and moved a couple of weeks ago. It has kind of stuffed up our plans to be honest. We had planned to buy our own home at the end of next year, when our lease was up for the second year. Now we will be faced with the decision to buy or rent again in the middle of next year. On top of that, moving into another rental, paying someone else’s mortgage is starting to play on my nervous. I’m at a point in my life where I want to own my own home. I want to be able to paint walls if I think they need it. I don’t want to have to panic every time we put a tiny little mark on a wall. I guess it’s every ones dream to own their own home, so I know I’m not alone. It just can get you down at times.
So basically, even with all these things happening, I still can’t find the motivation to enjoy it all. I just feel something is lacking and I have no idea what. So I’m thinking of starting a hobby. A real, time consuming hobby. Don’t get me wrong, I find plenty to do (go out for dinner, enjoy a little wine between friends) but I want something that is consistent and fulfilling. I have no idea what said hobby will be yet, that part I’m still investigating. In fact, it could very well be writing this blog a lot more often (here’s hoping!). But even if I do start writing more, I think I want something else to occupy my mind. It might be volunteering or something crafty. Time will tell and I will be sure to keep you updated!
I do just want to say that whilst this post sounds a little negative, it’s not all doom and gloom. I really do love my life and am blessed with some amazing people! Sometimes it’s just good to get the negativity out!
So apparently our bodies are temples. Well right now, mine is more like a 1970’s out of date fixer upper! Just like a house renovation, it’s going to take a lot of blood, sweat and tears to get this ‘temple’ into the shape it should be. To give you a bit of back ground, my relationship with exercise is a typical on again-off again roller-coaster ride. If we were a couple, we would be the dysfunctional relationship that breaks up every 2 months, only to end up back together a few weeks later. Our friends would be so immune to it, they wouldn’t even notice when we had broken up. I can’t say I enjoy exercise but I don’t exactly hate it. Unfortunately though, I have one of those bodies that can’t just eat well and be fit and healthy. I need to exercise to see results. The way I see it, exercise is like having another job. To get the body I want, I have to work at it.
I can get bored easily, so I need to mix up my workouts. I also can’t justify spending money on a gym membership when I have a huge array of walking tracks and parks that I can use for free. Plus I am a fan of a good ol’ workout DVD (Jane Fonda eat ya heart out). I would have purchased almost 10 different exercise DVD’s in the last few years. Some I will admit have never been played. Others I have used on rotation for about 3 weeks until I get bored and lose interest.
To add insult to injury, I’m not a morning person so I don’t exercise until I get home from work. Herein lies the problem. Most nights I am not home until after 6:30 and whilst my partner is amazing, I can’t always expect him to cook dinner every night. So I either do my hour’s exercise as soon as I get home, which means I start cooking at 7:30ish so we are eating after 8. Or I cook and eat first then try and exercise on a full stomach. Either way I feel like I am losing. Plus after a long day at work, all I want to do is sit down on the couch with a nice glass of wine and relax.
So by now you have probably realised I have very little motivation for exercising. I am really committed for 2 or so weeks, then something will happen and I just fall of the wagon. So my goal is to not fall and stay motivated. This motivation doesn’t come from wanting to be ‘skinny’, it is all about being healthy. I am very realistic about my body shape and how I have real hips that aren’t going anywhere. For me it’s more about being able to walk up the stairs at work and not feel short of breath. Of course I want to look good in my clothes but it’s not about a number for me. I don’t want to get down to a certain weight, I just want to feel and look better.
Losing these few kgs (okay 10) that I so desperately want to get rid of requires me to be motivated. I’m off on a holiday in under 3 months, this is now my motivation to get started. I have a wedding whilst I’m away and I want to make sure I look fit and healthy and let’s face it, a little bit sexy! I also want to be able to walk around exploring new places all day without feeling tired and buggered. So today folks I got up at 6am and exercised! Yes I did it and it felt so good. Admittedly it was a pretty tame workout but I feel it’s a start. I will lose this weight, I will become healthier and I will become a better me…… let’s just hope I keep up that positive attitude for longer than 2 weeks. I will endeavour to keep you updated about how I’m going, including confessing when I do feel like I ‘slip’. I figure if I admit when I fall, I will have the strength to pick myself up again. But never fear, I will still allow myself to enjoy a little wine between friends, for what is life without a little vino!