I turned 30 yesterday.
Just let that sink in. 30, the big 3.0. I had told myself in the lead up to this birthday that I was fine, not worried, not big deal. Yet so many times I found myself sitting on the couch (often with a glass of wine), starting to panic and eventually the tears would flow. I felt I had achieved nothing in my 30 years of living and it was now too late to do anything about it.
Then, the day before my 30th birthday, my cousin died of cancer. He was 30 years old.
Suddenly, me thinking I had achieved ‘nothing’ with my life was not only irrelevant but it was the complete and utter crap (to be frank). The death of my amazing, kind, funny cousin made me realise that life isn’t about having done stuff by a certain age. It isn’t about doing what society says you should do by a certain age (think marriage, kids, and mortgage).
No, it’s about being happy and living in the moment. Okay, that’s not exactly a new revelation but it hit me and it hit me hard. I have achieved a great deal in a short amount of time and I need to start appreciating that. I have a great new job in the field I have strived to be in. My partner is my best friend, soul mate and love of my life. I have the most amazing friends and family and most importantly, I am HAPPY.
To me, being happy, genuinely happy, is such an achievement and one I am so proud of. I don’t need to be obsessed, worried, and paranoid about a number. My age, my weight, my salary – these numbers don’t define me. My happiness and gratitude define me.
Don’t get me wrong, I have gone out and made any huge changes with my life (it’s been a day) but I want to make changes and keep improving on this new found freedom.
So yes, another random blog post (way too many months after my last) but sometimes life smacks you in the face and the only way to deal is to write!
To finish, I hope happiness finds you all and you can all enjoy a little wine between friends.